Is the saying "nice guys finish last" true? Can good intentions always lead to positive outcomes?

Afterwards, we got the idea of the Nice Guys. This is as the feminist argument for what a man is suppose to be like. For example, Leonard from the Big Bang Theory. However, here is the problem. What if the guy willing to give you a wedding ring is a wife beater. And if we really look at the sitcom Nice Guys, a lot of them are very problematic. What is taking place, is that a lot of real world Nice Guys are actually violent and abusive towards women.

The so call Nice Guys (Nice Girls) = committed relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend term or husband/wife term) over real relationships (love or infatuation) and trying to make it last forever. Consistent with western values.

Nice Guys ≠ nice guys

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The left usually represent that idea in the media. For example, what we see in leftist sitcoms such as Friends, we see the girls are all very desperate to get married and the guys are all very commitment phobic. So, they say the guys are all treating women like crap! And that idea is reinforced in shows such as Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory is also created with the objective to make such attack. Charlie and Barney are attacking men at a stage of his life only available and interest in something casual.

Bad Boys ≠ bad boys.

And they enable the Nice Guy and Nice Girl to do as they please. For example, Rose once drugged Charlie with medication and lock him in a dungent for years and it is dismiss as irrelevant. Leonard once even broke into Penny’s home angry at her for dating another guy, but not him. Take that out of the sitcom context and into the real world, somebody do something like that to your sister or daughter, is that OK? Yet, it is played as romantic. Amy from Ted are not demonstrating problematic behavior. But, they are so desperate that it is just sad.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

Our society hate these people, if she is a girl, we call her a “slut”, “whore” or “bitch” If it is a guy we call him “womanizing pig! Treating women like crap!” otherwise it is terms such as “You are demeaning yourself for the pleasure of men.” (This attack also exist in real life. For example, Finland Prime Minister Sanan Marie, dancing in a night club in her off time, got massive attacks from opposition party. And Sannan Marie attack back saying this is her personal life and the video is never suppose to be released to the media) On the other hand, actor Leonardo Decaprio also got a lot of heat and attacks from feminists, saying calling him a womanizing pig. Because, he never been married or a serious relationship and only go from one casual relationship to another and never dated a woman over the age of 25. Now you can call him a gross old man over this and I am not going to argue with you over it. But, here it the catch, the girls he date are all adults and he is not taking advantage of them. So, if he wants to be a gross old man dating younger woman, that is his choice. It is two consenting adults, it is not doing anything wrong. You don’t like it and find it gross, you don’t need to look. Further example, both the Christian conservatives and feminist politics are going after women in consented prostitution.

There is distinct conflict between feminism academics and the dominate version of feminism today that is expressed through leftist media and politics. Feminist academics usually side with the Bad Boys and the dominate version of feminism of the leftist media and leftist politics side with the Nice Guys. To be honest, as somebody that fall into the Bad Boy category in accordance to leftist media, it really feels like a grandma protection their grand children. (Because, feminist academics are usually very old. Literally same age as my grandma and their position greatly change from protecting women to protecting young people, as if grandma protection grand children. And they mostly believe the version of feminism today is extremely harmful to young people today, not only to girls, but also to boys and make it difficult for young people to interact normally and they are very angry and consider the fact they are old and not need to care about what people think, they are very out spoken.)

Bad Boys (and Bad Girls) = guys (and girls) that prefer real relationships over committed relationship, whether it is a committed relationship or not is optional and able to let go when it is time to let go.

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The Christian conservatives are saying prostitution it is immoral. The leftist feminist say it is demeaning to women. But, they are very tough going up against women in consented prostitution. But, they won’t go after sex traffickers. The biggest problem in the US right now is that they are going after women in consented prostitution, but won’t go after sex traffickers. What we need isn’t to make prostitution or the porn industry illegal. But, to have a proper set of industry relationship law to protect girls working in the sex industry to be taken advantage of and also, STD test yearly, to prevent STD and to go after sex traffickers to ensure all girls working in the industry are doing it willingly. This is what the Japanese are doing and the Japanese sex industry is so much healthier compare to the US. And if you think this will decrease the rate of girls working in the sex industry, you are wrong. In fact, it will increase it. For example, it is found per 200 Japanese college girls, one at some stage worked as an escort. So, you actually get more girls wanting to work as escort or porn stars as a result. (And also, girls working as sex worker in Japan are also generally much hotter, compare to the US. The US prostitutes on the other hand…OMG, some are so gross you won’t even want to fuck them, even if they are paying you instead.)

The greatest irony is that the Bad Boys are usually the actual good guys. And the so call Nice Guys are usually the real assholes.

The version of feminism expressed in modern leftist media by leftist leadership actually got a lot of criticism from a lot of feminist academics. In fact, I by accident picked a feminist class in college when trying to fill up credit points and what I found surprising is that real feminist academic hate the modern version of feminists that we got today and saying the version of feminism demonstrate through leftist media is very dangerous towards women and are very much on the side of the so call Bad Boys. Some of them are elderly ladies that been champion of women right for decades.

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Our western culture got an unhealthy obsession with committed relationship. It is about committed relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend term or husband/wife term) over real relationship (love or infatuation) and trying to make it last forever, whether it is a real relationship or not is optional.

The Bad Boy trope is to pair up a Bad Boy with a Nice Girl (e.g. Charlie and Rose from Two and a Half Men or Sheldon and Amy from the Big Bang Theory)

This problem exist on both the left and the right. For example, Christian value think divorce is a sin. (But, here is the problem, what if it is an abusive marriage?) It also see lust (infatuation) to be a sin and to be dirty. And in Christian value, it is actually a sin to stay single, unless you are to be a monk or a nun.

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On the other hand, I am sorry but Bad Boy and Bad Girl characters such as Penny, Robin, Barney and Charlie, they are not doing anything wrong. They are the normal ones.

Sheldon is attacking men not interest in general.

The same issue exist in the left. For example, leftist feminist value say “Guys that won’t commit are jerks treating women like crap! (Bad Boys, Fuck Boys or Chad) Guys willing to commit are great guys treating women well.” (But here is the problem, Bad Boys characters such as Charlie from Two and a Half Men and Barney from How I Met Your Mother never misled any woman to believe it is a serious, exclusive or committed relationship to get her in bed. So, how is that mistreating women? On the other hand, what if the guy willing to give you a wedding ring is a wife beater?) And another leftist feminist value “If you dump a girl after you got bored it is treating women like crap!” (Translation: If you are dating a girl that you are not interest in, you keep leading her on. Otherwise, you are a jerk treating women like crap!)

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The Nice Guy trope is to pair up a Nice Guy with a Bad Girl (e.g. Robin and Ted from How I Met Your Mother and Leonard and Penny from the Big Bang Theory)